Heaven

I wanted to believe in heaven.
When you died.
I tried.
I wanted to meet you,
having been so close
between rib and bone.
It stopped me dying
That pretence of you:
spirit waiting, wafting.

Daughter: you died.
Heaven is a verb
used by terrorists.

Remembering Charlie Hebdo

Merilyn Childs 10/1/2015

Please: join us!

google sat with us

like an angel

listening here and there

patting our brows

adjusting our crumbs

remembering our secrets.

How nice of google

(how thoughtful)

to send me endless pretty pictures

of bright blonde girls

(click click click)

doing computer sciences.

Perhaps I'd like to join them?

Merilyn Childs 11/12015

what hope looks like

he screamed during the spinal tap.

"He has meningitis". There it is.

We can't block out that sound.

6 weeks and he has taken his first step.

Curtains wide open, no looking away.

He is bandaged and needled.

We make phone calls.

We wait. We cling. We keen.

There is a room full of mothers

sleeping on the floor.

Impossibly, I am one of them. 

There is air-conditioning

and a play room, and 

People speak in whispers.

Family come and go.

Time is hot.

We are melting.

Then: the thermometer makes friends.

Merilyn Childs 5/1/2014

[My son James contracted viral meningitis at 6 weeks. He is now 25 and well.]

weight/wait

I start with a homophone.

To explain.

I have discovered that the words that we use,

(you and I)

intersect. Yes:

somewhere in English.

perhaps in a poster?

or a handout caught by wind?

perhaps on a sign left behind?

mother: somewhere between your poverty

and my Soda Stream bubbled air-conditioning

I pump 2kg weights

While you for water wait.
Wait. Then walk.

Merilyn Childs 4/1/2015

Hard

muscles test weights

my mind sweats

memories:

being 29, before your name

was called.

I've fought for you/

my silent battle cry:

other people's daughters

my own

and other mother's sons.

Merilyn Childs 3/10/2015

Distance

your distances are not like mine.
there is no equity between us:
                            I have clean water; you have mud.
Oh, bridge: be short.
Midwife, lean into her heart.

Merilyn Childs 2/01/2014

Hard

muscles test weights

my mind sweats

memories:

being 29, before your name

was called.

I've fought for you/

my silent battle cry:

other people's daughters

my own

and other mother's sons.

Merilyn Childs 3/10/2015